Chicago?
It's hard to believe I lived in my apartment for two whole years. I remember thinking I would leave Michigan after 2 years, that was the plan. I used to want to move to San Francisco. Where I am now and headed is far from what I expected. In this time I've had 3 jobs and met so many different and interesting people. I think 2017 was a lot about focusing on myself while 2018 was spent mostly adjusting my life around someone else's. But let me start from the beginning...
Two years ago I had just finished grad school with no real hobbies and my interests being acquiring material possessions and netflix. My first friends here were C (I think we first messaged in 2013 but then not again until 2016) and J, who still remain an important part of my life today. I really respect C, he works hard and excels at his career, and organizes fun parties. I'm happy he has an amazing relationship with his mother and we can just phone for hours talking about life. We only hung out a few times this year and now that I'm leaving Detroit, I'm realizing that I wish I had spent more time with him. I wish I had spent more face time and been there for him more. C's in my field of work, so he gets it. And I get it. Public accounting is rough. He's one of the few people I can talk about work to, and understand it, and talk about relationships, life goals, shared nerdy interests, and everything. That cinco de mayo party was nuts. I was nuts. I'm always nuts.
Because of C, I met J. I think what I wrote for his MBA questionnaire thing sums up pretty well how I feel about him. He is also such an amazing person. I really can't even think of a single flaw. J is just a really decent person. He cares enough to give it to you straight, meaning he is also observant. Perhaps very blunt when you ask for the truth, but it comes from a place of tough love. He is perhaps the most generous person I know. He was there for me when I threw up over the phone, when I got let go from the first job, and every time I needed a friend. He probably knows me better than I know myself. Hell, J got me into climbing. J, J, S, and that whole group was my OG clombing group. They were the ones that taught me how to belay and endured my 20 minute 5.7 send. They inspired me to keep trying. J was the one who I had Xmas dinner with two years in a row. He is the reminder to live life by thinking about how I can add value to the lives of others.
I met D in early April 2018 during a roughly 2 week "break". Probably my most successful okc date as I got a good friend out of it. I don't know D as well but he's an extremely moral person and on a few occasions, kinda the angel on my shoulder. His "4 tenets" of a relationship summarize my belief as well: good communication, physical and emotional support, shared hobbies and interests, and finally, a shared vision of the future. We went on two climbing trips, one to the Red and the other to Grand Ledge, which was maybe in May 2018. The first time I went there was September 2017 and I remember this iconic 5.8 was impossibly difficult for me on top rope. When I tried it again in May, it was easy. D was a consistent top roping and lead (some) partner for a bit and that was really nice. Every time was positive, fun, and light-hearted. Definitely a climbing inspiration for me.
Scratch the okc comment above because I technically met R in 2017 on okc too, even though I recognized his face from the gym. "Hey it's one of the only Asians at the gym, who also climbs hard and always looks pissed off." In retrospect, I was probably too hard on him dating-wise, but I'm glad we didn't go down that road and we're friends now. Now that I'm sitting and thinking about it, he is my biggest climbing inspiration. I improved a lot when we consistently roped. I went from struggling on 5.8's to struggling on 5.9's. At the Halloween event was when I climbed my second ever 5.9 and first time in the dark. That was a memorable moment. I really miss roping with him actually, but also in the last 6 months I've become primarily a boulderer. I even obtained my very first bouldering bucket today. Similar to the sentiment with C, and this goes for everyone, I wish I had been there more throughout the year but I was preoccupied with my toxic relationship.
On the topic of climbing, I remember one of the first V2's I did, my first V3, my first V4, and yes, even my first V5. I remember climbing outside for the first time, first time at the Red, first time climbing at the Red, first time leading outside, and first real time leading outside. I started bouldering because R pushed me to, and on our out of town trips, we bouldered. Then D couldn't rope for a while, so I started bouldering. V0's and V1's terrified me when I was able to climb 5.10's. I vehemently disliked bouldering, but perhaps it was because I saw improvements and enjoyed overcoming the strength and fear challenges that I had a change of heart at some point. I haven't had a strong desire to go back to ropes since then. Recently Y commented on how he remembered back in the day when I struggled on 5.8's and now I'm working V4's. I guess that's how time flies. For sure the first time I climbed at the Red was one of this year's best memories. So was the final Red trip of the year, where I led the 5.8 Dura-Ace. So many people have inspired and given me confidence...K, DP, IS, A, to name a few.
I'd say another of 2018's best memories would be all the members of the climbing community I met and got to know better. It's a sense of belonging within a group that I'm not too used to. It's bittersweet that it feels very much like the early stages of friendships, yet I will be moving soon.
I hope that in 2019 I will be able to apply the lessons I learned from the exhausting relationship that recently ended. 2018 was a lot of emotional work, climbing, not working, and socializing. I'm looking forward to working again and getting back into the technical world. I'm also looking forward to bringing back my triathlon activities. I'm looking forward to being a better friend to the old and new.
P.S. I think I'll write a separate post for the "lessons learned" later.
Two years ago I had just finished grad school with no real hobbies and my interests being acquiring material possessions and netflix. My first friends here were C (I think we first messaged in 2013 but then not again until 2016) and J, who still remain an important part of my life today. I really respect C, he works hard and excels at his career, and organizes fun parties. I'm happy he has an amazing relationship with his mother and we can just phone for hours talking about life. We only hung out a few times this year and now that I'm leaving Detroit, I'm realizing that I wish I had spent more time with him. I wish I had spent more face time and been there for him more. C's in my field of work, so he gets it. And I get it. Public accounting is rough. He's one of the few people I can talk about work to, and understand it, and talk about relationships, life goals, shared nerdy interests, and everything. That cinco de mayo party was nuts. I was nuts. I'm always nuts.
Because of C, I met J. I think what I wrote for his MBA questionnaire thing sums up pretty well how I feel about him. He is also such an amazing person. I really can't even think of a single flaw. J is just a really decent person. He cares enough to give it to you straight, meaning he is also observant. Perhaps very blunt when you ask for the truth, but it comes from a place of tough love. He is perhaps the most generous person I know. He was there for me when I threw up over the phone, when I got let go from the first job, and every time I needed a friend. He probably knows me better than I know myself. Hell, J got me into climbing. J, J, S, and that whole group was my OG clombing group. They were the ones that taught me how to belay and endured my 20 minute 5.7 send. They inspired me to keep trying. J was the one who I had Xmas dinner with two years in a row. He is the reminder to live life by thinking about how I can add value to the lives of others.
I met D in early April 2018 during a roughly 2 week "break". Probably my most successful okc date as I got a good friend out of it. I don't know D as well but he's an extremely moral person and on a few occasions, kinda the angel on my shoulder. His "4 tenets" of a relationship summarize my belief as well: good communication, physical and emotional support, shared hobbies and interests, and finally, a shared vision of the future. We went on two climbing trips, one to the Red and the other to Grand Ledge, which was maybe in May 2018. The first time I went there was September 2017 and I remember this iconic 5.8 was impossibly difficult for me on top rope. When I tried it again in May, it was easy. D was a consistent top roping and lead (some) partner for a bit and that was really nice. Every time was positive, fun, and light-hearted. Definitely a climbing inspiration for me.
Scratch the okc comment above because I technically met R in 2017 on okc too, even though I recognized his face from the gym. "Hey it's one of the only Asians at the gym, who also climbs hard and always looks pissed off." In retrospect, I was probably too hard on him dating-wise, but I'm glad we didn't go down that road and we're friends now. Now that I'm sitting and thinking about it, he is my biggest climbing inspiration. I improved a lot when we consistently roped. I went from struggling on 5.8's to struggling on 5.9's. At the Halloween event was when I climbed my second ever 5.9 and first time in the dark. That was a memorable moment. I really miss roping with him actually, but also in the last 6 months I've become primarily a boulderer. I even obtained my very first bouldering bucket today. Similar to the sentiment with C, and this goes for everyone, I wish I had been there more throughout the year but I was preoccupied with my toxic relationship.
On the topic of climbing, I remember one of the first V2's I did, my first V3, my first V4, and yes, even my first V5. I remember climbing outside for the first time, first time at the Red, first time climbing at the Red, first time leading outside, and first real time leading outside. I started bouldering because R pushed me to, and on our out of town trips, we bouldered. Then D couldn't rope for a while, so I started bouldering. V0's and V1's terrified me when I was able to climb 5.10's. I vehemently disliked bouldering, but perhaps it was because I saw improvements and enjoyed overcoming the strength and fear challenges that I had a change of heart at some point. I haven't had a strong desire to go back to ropes since then. Recently Y commented on how he remembered back in the day when I struggled on 5.8's and now I'm working V4's. I guess that's how time flies. For sure the first time I climbed at the Red was one of this year's best memories. So was the final Red trip of the year, where I led the 5.8 Dura-Ace. So many people have inspired and given me confidence...K, DP, IS, A, to name a few.
I'd say another of 2018's best memories would be all the members of the climbing community I met and got to know better. It's a sense of belonging within a group that I'm not too used to. It's bittersweet that it feels very much like the early stages of friendships, yet I will be moving soon.
I hope that in 2019 I will be able to apply the lessons I learned from the exhausting relationship that recently ended. 2018 was a lot of emotional work, climbing, not working, and socializing. I'm looking forward to working again and getting back into the technical world. I'm also looking forward to bringing back my triathlon activities. I'm looking forward to being a better friend to the old and new.
P.S. I think I'll write a separate post for the "lessons learned" later.
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