Some Thoughts 2
Here are a bunch of thoughts about things I had over this past year in no particular order. I promised to elaborate on them so here it is... And in another post I guess I'll talk about the year.
It must've been a Friday over the summer when I witnessed a gesture of kindness that resonated with me. A lady behind me in Timmies was buying a homeless guy some coffee and I guess it stuck out because it doesn't happen very often. I actually can't even remember if he was outside or inside but I was a little touched. It's not that my family hasn't struggled through tough times, but because I have terrible memory, I can't say I remember anything. I think I've also been sheltered pretty well from all the "bad stuff" for better or worse, so I won't even pretend to understand what it's like to live at the poverty level, to have to worry about where the next meal will come from, where to sleep, because I never had those worries, none that I can remember (and really, probably not). My parents may have worried about those things, but I don't remember ever being hungry or without a roof. My point is, I've come to realize that there's a lot about this world I don't understand. What is it like to live a less than fortunate life? How many of those people are out there right now, helpless, crying, and feeling hopeless? I want to be able to see the world for what it is and to see people for who they are. What can I do reduce the suffering in this world?
I think that same day, actually right after, as I was at a crosswalk, a bunch of cars were driving by disregarding the stoplights during a funeral service. It annoyed me because it's not like an ambulance, where a life is in danger, and everyone waited about 10 minutes. The cars in the other direction couldn't go and neither the pedestrians. One guy on a bike almost got hit for crossing while the cars weren't stopping, and that actually angered me. The car didn't slow down from what I could tell. At what point does your "urgent matter" become more important than endangering another person's life, even if that person was "risking it"? The worst part I think was that the long line of cars was backed by a cop car at the end. For things like Thanksgiving day parade, that stuff is planned in advance so you know to expect it and plan your travel accordingly. But for this stuff and similarly weddings, I'm not sure I agree with selfishly impeding traffic.
I suppose I also wanted to write about my alma mater and what sets it apart. I applaud the founders for starting a college with the intention of providing higher education for underprivileged families, but it's a tricky concept to navigate. I only know some general information, but for one, the state gives funding based on certain school statistics, including graduation rate. It then becomes a bit of a catch 22 when you are giving the opportunity to people who don't necessarily have the drive, finances, or intelligence to complete the education, and being penalized for giving this opportunity when you are unable to beat other schools at receiving those funds. It is not enough for just an individual institution to have such a dream, but requires the support of legislation to provide more for education. I briefly worked on campus over the summer in the internal audit department. It gave me the opportunity to hear some memorable stories and see another side of the university, the side that students don't. It may the success stories that remind us of what we have always stood for, for example, there was a student who was able to graduate with the help of her campus job colleagues. She had some financial difficulties but wanted to make something better of her situation, and oftentimes the difference between succeeding and failing is the absence of a guiding hand. Her supervisor was able to give her the advice and support she needed to graduate, especially when she was so close to doing so. It's painful to see so many people with the potential for more being left behind. I guess what also sets my school apart is the unique student energy.
I went on some first dates this past year and I went to the symphony with this one guy. At the end of it, we got into a discussion about what we look for in another person. While I agree with his response of finding someone who challenges you to think differently, who motivates you to be your best self, my response was just someone who is a good person. He looked at me with disbelief, like, seriously, those are your standards? And I guess for me the meaning of a good person is complicated. I'm not sure I can even explain it. I guess it's someone who's honest, who's constantly trying to improve, who will do what's right and not what's easy, who has had to make a tough decision in a gray area and live with the burden, who cares about more than just his immediate surroundings, who reflects on his past, who has an infinite thirst for knowledge not just in his area of expertise, who has an appreciation for the arts, literature, culture, and all the world has to offer, who is open-minded, who has felt what it's like to love another person, who has felt what it's like to lose a loved one, etc. And this is why I understand and finally agree with the people who answer "no" to the okc question that asks if a university education is mandatory for your s.o.
Something that I've discovered I like hearing about is how others met and fell in love. Maybe if I gather enough of those stories, someday I can write a book about it. I can write stories about love for those who aren't able to experience it because everyone deserves to know what it's like. The bond you feel with your s.o. is really magical, that can't quite be explained, and is just a feeling you have about the other person being right for you, and you them. I worked with this guy who met his now wife in his late twenties. They were childhood friends who separated due to college and life after. They hadn't talked in about ten years and was only by chance that they ran into each other over the holidays. Yet upon meeting they were able to talk like old friends (which they were) and instantly felt a connection. And they stayed up talking all night, and a few months later he went to visit her/spend a couple weeks with her in NYC, so on.
I made a note to write something about humility and how to make people do what you want them to do. But I don't remember, welp.
I had a lot of insightful conversations during my brief campus job over the summer. My mentor told me a somewhat personal story but it involved the loss of someone extremely close to her. It's hard to talk about it without revealing stuff, but as a woman, it hit me hard. Similar to if I heard a rape story in person, it'd almost be like staring into another me. Because it can happen to any of us. And you wonder why this happened to you except there is no why. How do you reconcile that?
It must've been a Friday over the summer when I witnessed a gesture of kindness that resonated with me. A lady behind me in Timmies was buying a homeless guy some coffee and I guess it stuck out because it doesn't happen very often. I actually can't even remember if he was outside or inside but I was a little touched. It's not that my family hasn't struggled through tough times, but because I have terrible memory, I can't say I remember anything. I think I've also been sheltered pretty well from all the "bad stuff" for better or worse, so I won't even pretend to understand what it's like to live at the poverty level, to have to worry about where the next meal will come from, where to sleep, because I never had those worries, none that I can remember (and really, probably not). My parents may have worried about those things, but I don't remember ever being hungry or without a roof. My point is, I've come to realize that there's a lot about this world I don't understand. What is it like to live a less than fortunate life? How many of those people are out there right now, helpless, crying, and feeling hopeless? I want to be able to see the world for what it is and to see people for who they are. What can I do reduce the suffering in this world?
I think that same day, actually right after, as I was at a crosswalk, a bunch of cars were driving by disregarding the stoplights during a funeral service. It annoyed me because it's not like an ambulance, where a life is in danger, and everyone waited about 10 minutes. The cars in the other direction couldn't go and neither the pedestrians. One guy on a bike almost got hit for crossing while the cars weren't stopping, and that actually angered me. The car didn't slow down from what I could tell. At what point does your "urgent matter" become more important than endangering another person's life, even if that person was "risking it"? The worst part I think was that the long line of cars was backed by a cop car at the end. For things like Thanksgiving day parade, that stuff is planned in advance so you know to expect it and plan your travel accordingly. But for this stuff and similarly weddings, I'm not sure I agree with selfishly impeding traffic.
I suppose I also wanted to write about my alma mater and what sets it apart. I applaud the founders for starting a college with the intention of providing higher education for underprivileged families, but it's a tricky concept to navigate. I only know some general information, but for one, the state gives funding based on certain school statistics, including graduation rate. It then becomes a bit of a catch 22 when you are giving the opportunity to people who don't necessarily have the drive, finances, or intelligence to complete the education, and being penalized for giving this opportunity when you are unable to beat other schools at receiving those funds. It is not enough for just an individual institution to have such a dream, but requires the support of legislation to provide more for education. I briefly worked on campus over the summer in the internal audit department. It gave me the opportunity to hear some memorable stories and see another side of the university, the side that students don't. It may the success stories that remind us of what we have always stood for, for example, there was a student who was able to graduate with the help of her campus job colleagues. She had some financial difficulties but wanted to make something better of her situation, and oftentimes the difference between succeeding and failing is the absence of a guiding hand. Her supervisor was able to give her the advice and support she needed to graduate, especially when she was so close to doing so. It's painful to see so many people with the potential for more being left behind. I guess what also sets my school apart is the unique student energy.
I went on some first dates this past year and I went to the symphony with this one guy. At the end of it, we got into a discussion about what we look for in another person. While I agree with his response of finding someone who challenges you to think differently, who motivates you to be your best self, my response was just someone who is a good person. He looked at me with disbelief, like, seriously, those are your standards? And I guess for me the meaning of a good person is complicated. I'm not sure I can even explain it. I guess it's someone who's honest, who's constantly trying to improve, who will do what's right and not what's easy, who has had to make a tough decision in a gray area and live with the burden, who cares about more than just his immediate surroundings, who reflects on his past, who has an infinite thirst for knowledge not just in his area of expertise, who has an appreciation for the arts, literature, culture, and all the world has to offer, who is open-minded, who has felt what it's like to love another person, who has felt what it's like to lose a loved one, etc. And this is why I understand and finally agree with the people who answer "no" to the okc question that asks if a university education is mandatory for your s.o.
Something that I've discovered I like hearing about is how others met and fell in love. Maybe if I gather enough of those stories, someday I can write a book about it. I can write stories about love for those who aren't able to experience it because everyone deserves to know what it's like. The bond you feel with your s.o. is really magical, that can't quite be explained, and is just a feeling you have about the other person being right for you, and you them. I worked with this guy who met his now wife in his late twenties. They were childhood friends who separated due to college and life after. They hadn't talked in about ten years and was only by chance that they ran into each other over the holidays. Yet upon meeting they were able to talk like old friends (which they were) and instantly felt a connection. And they stayed up talking all night, and a few months later he went to visit her/spend a couple weeks with her in NYC, so on.
I made a note to write something about humility and how to make people do what you want them to do. But I don't remember, welp.
I had a lot of insightful conversations during my brief campus job over the summer. My mentor told me a somewhat personal story but it involved the loss of someone extremely close to her. It's hard to talk about it without revealing stuff, but as a woman, it hit me hard. Similar to if I heard a rape story in person, it'd almost be like staring into another me. Because it can happen to any of us. And you wonder why this happened to you except there is no why. How do you reconcile that?
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