Accuracy and Definition
Materiality isn't always about exceeding a certain dollar amount, but it rather depends on the nature of what is being tested. Individually small administrative expenses during benefit plan audits still require testing to verify if they are considered prohibited expenses. The underlying principle here applies to relationships just as much: what really matters? Defining a relationship in terms of knowing where two people stand is probably necessary. Some people seem afraid to know where the other person stands or aren't even sure of where they stand themselves, but I'm just talking about knowing as best as you can at a given point in time. I'm not that good at communicating, which is probably why I need more definition than some others. The kind of definition I'm referring to is more than just a relationship label, but more so the extent of expectations. The big, scary "e" word. Let's face it, even the best couples won't always be operating at the same frequency, so how do you reconcile the discrepancies? Maybe you don't think there's enough conversation, maybe they don't think you're sensitive enough, or maybe you think they aren't generous enough. I'm convinced the only real solution to these topics is communication and I'm not claiming I've got it down. No, I just know that I want to be accurate in my perceptions and realistic in my expectations.
The other important matter is not losing yourself. I see people all over the Internet chirping about how much they're in love and can talk for hours with their significant other, but who are they really? Do they even exist as individuals anymore? Are they truly happy or just living in a temporary fantasy? Only a short few years ago I was probably more or less one of those people. It's as if being able to talk for hours is somehow indicative of anything at all besides just that. How many of us use relationships to fill some type of personal void? I don't completely know what it's all supposed to be about, but I don't think it's meant for that purpose. I think it's more like a team of two governed by patience, trust, and putting their needs first. Maybe at first, without really thinking, at least the first two sound fairly easy to do. But actually, are they? More often than not, I see people (myself included) freaking out when they don't receive a response or question the validity of anything and everything. But back to the point, I think the definition of losing yourself is when you can't control your actions and not so much how often someone appears in your thoughts. I should probably clarify here that "putting others first" is not to say stop everything in your life for any one person. Quite contrarily, having the capacity to put another person's needs ahead demands an even higher grasp of your own life first. Even then, you can never be completely certain all of the time, but that's the gamble you make and why people are the most difficult things. Perhaps the only thing you can ascertain is your ability to stand back up if and when things fall out.
desda
The other important matter is not losing yourself. I see people all over the Internet chirping about how much they're in love and can talk for hours with their significant other, but who are they really? Do they even exist as individuals anymore? Are they truly happy or just living in a temporary fantasy? Only a short few years ago I was probably more or less one of those people. It's as if being able to talk for hours is somehow indicative of anything at all besides just that. How many of us use relationships to fill some type of personal void? I don't completely know what it's all supposed to be about, but I don't think it's meant for that purpose. I think it's more like a team of two governed by patience, trust, and putting their needs first. Maybe at first, without really thinking, at least the first two sound fairly easy to do. But actually, are they? More often than not, I see people (myself included) freaking out when they don't receive a response or question the validity of anything and everything. But back to the point, I think the definition of losing yourself is when you can't control your actions and not so much how often someone appears in your thoughts. I should probably clarify here that "putting others first" is not to say stop everything in your life for any one person. Quite contrarily, having the capacity to put another person's needs ahead demands an even higher grasp of your own life first. Even then, you can never be completely certain all of the time, but that's the gamble you make and why people are the most difficult things. Perhaps the only thing you can ascertain is your ability to stand back up if and when things fall out.
desda
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